I apologize for the brevity of this post and likely the next. The next two weeks are quite busy for me both academically and personally, but there will be much to talk about with you later!
Despite being a little busier than I have been all semester, I wanted to let you know that I am doing well. In fact, in some ways I am the best I’ve ever been.
One of the most disappointing aspects of MIT was the feeling that I didn’t have time to do everything I wanted to do. Over time, I believe this evolved into a feeling that I couldn’t do what I wanted to do — I didn’t have the creativity and ambition to create an innovative start-up, win a hackathon, or complete a project I was truly proud of. I felt like I was a fraud and a waste of the incredible resources at MIT in a school full of talented and deserving people. When I saw all of the impactful ideas of our peers, I couldn’t help but to feel a bit like an imposture, someone who would never accomplish anything original or great after graduation.
Now, I feel refreshed. I have rediscovered the passion and enthusiasm I had for learning before the exams and deadlines stripped all of the joy away. At least once a week, an idea of a new project I could work on or an interesting research question I could investigate pops into my head. Surprisingly, not all of the ideas even relate directly with engineering or science — last week, I pondered how I could use the extensive photo archives in the library to gain insight into aspects of Swiss behaviors in the previous century! Even though I may never have the time to complete all of these projects, the fact that I am having creative ideas and frequent curiosities feels incredible. I’ve reconnected with the part of me who always wanted to know more, challenge the norms around me, and explore solutions to problems I identify. I am becoming the person I wanted to be again.